How To Know What Is A Fetish And What Is Not

You may be wondering if, because you focus a lot on a part of the body, or if you really like to eat a certain type of food, they can be fetishes or not. There are many, many things that you can like and not be fetishes. Everything will depend on whether it generates a sexual reaction in you, and whether it happens only once or constantly.

Fetishism is normal and natural behavior, an expression of sexual diversity.

Next, we present a diagram known as a graph of behavioral expressions of sexuality, created by Alvarez-Gayou and Millán and can help you in the exercise of knowing what is a fetish for you and what is not.

We all have non-erotic fetishes. Objects that we want to have close by, such as the mobile phone, or other parts of the body that we may like a lot, such as the eyes. The difference is that, if neither the cell phone nor the eyes generate sexual responses in you, they will not be erotic fetishes.

However, if seeing an object like lingerie produces in you an erotic response, excitement, etc … we would already be entering the area of ​​erotic fetishes. C hen we refer to the erotic area ranging from fantasy to exclusivity. If in the example of underwear it turns you on a little, you would be at the “minimum” level. If in your relationships you would like there to normally be underwear to touch or look at, you would be at the “preferred” level. And if you can’t get aroused or have an erection in the case of people with a penis unless there is underwear, you would be on the level of “exclusive”.

If sexual behavior is in the exclusive area and makes sexual intercourse difficult, it can become a problem and we should ask for help. But as long as that behavior does not harm us, our partner or third parties, physically or emotionally, it is fine. As long as the fetish doesn’t negatively affect your relationships, it’s not a problem.

In Fantasía you must write down the things that excite you by fantasizing, but that you would not get to do in your real life. If you want to continue learning about fantasies, we recommend you review our articles on female fantasies and male fantasies. 

In Minima you will write those things that you like in your sexual relations. For example: you like to see how your partner undresses, or the smell of some erotic incense. It is not something that you need or have to always include it in your relationships, but you like it.

IN Preference you will include those things that you prefer to be present in your relationships. You can also include practices, to make this section more complete. For example, if you consider that oral sex should be included almost always, it is your preference.

In  Predominant and Exclusive you will include those things that for you have to be YES or YES in a sexual situation. The difference between PREDOMINANT and EXCLUSIVE is that, in the first, you will place the practices without which you would not consider to have had a good experience. The practices included in EXCLUSIVE will be those without which you would not reach the climax in any way.

To complete this section even more, you are going to include a point called RED LINES, in which you will write those things that, at that moment in your life, you are not willing to try to do under any circumstances. Being clear about our limits in sex is very important to make sure we don’t do something that we don’t feel comfortable with.

You can play with your partner to make his expression, and have your partner do yours. So you can check how much you know each other sexually and continue learning with the answers.

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